The Birdbrain Of Alcatraz
Trump is clearly bonkers. And as he fails, he's more dangerous than ever.
May 9-10, 2025
By Marc Cooper
My jet lag has finally worn off, and I’m sort of sorry it did—because now I have to make sense of the cluttered madness that piled up while I was gone for the last 15 days or so.
Being away, however, has given me a fresh perspective on the pile of crap we’re in. I was able to view it from afar rather than being buried in it. Here goes….
CRAZINESS
Please don’t give too much credit to Trump or his inner gaggle of sycophants, gargoyles, and bootlicking opportunists by suggesting they have a plan, a strategy, or are playing four-dimensional chess.
It’s much simpler than that: there’s a crazy old corrupt grandpa making erratic, self-serving decisions with no consultation, governed mostly by his mood swings.
Those around him probably despise or fear him, but they’re playing along for personal gain.
To cut to the point: I’ve concluded that the authoritarian regime we’re facing is essentially a patrimonial kleptocracy functioning like a major crime family. There’s the aging and unstable capo—Trump—who no one dares challenge because he holds the elected power to get things done. His cabinet of sub-captains all get to wet their beaks in the unprecedented corruption, raking in a nice cut, but they also have to kick a sizable cut upwards.
Trump’s obvious mental decline is a glaring reality—more severe than Biden’s ever was, despite the latter being treated as a national scandal. Biden was slow, sometimes very slow, and yes, it showed physically. But when he spoke, however painful, he made sense.
Trump, on the other hand, makes no sense. He’s hyperactive at times but cannot complete a coherent thought. He lies so frequently he doesn't seem to know he’s doing it. Combined with his ignorance, insecurities, obsessions, and impulsive idea-spitting, he exhibits all the qualities of a certifiable nutcase entering the middle stages of dementia.
These are not uncommon traits, by the way, among elderly mafia kingpins. Psychopathy and paranoia are often prerequisites—and Trump just happens to hold state power.
As in any mafia family, the lesser acolytes have limited freedom to run side hustles for their own benefit—as long as their loyalty to the Boss is 100%.
One example: Trump doesn’t care who’s in the military. But Pete Hegseth, in his own political delusions, gets his kicks from persecuting trans people. He’s now on a witch hunt for the estimated 1,000 trans individuals among 2 million DOD employees and troops. Trump’s fine with that—it’s Pete’s “territory.” Will Pete be personally inspecting all genitals?
Likewise, Trump doesn’t give a damn that FBI Director Patel—initially feared as a new Himmler—has turned out to be a wimp, more interested in photo ops, flying government planes to visit his 26-year-old girlfriend, going to sports events, lounging around his Vegas home, and occasionally cosplaying as a federal agent with body armor. What matters is that he’s in place and loyal, if called upon he’s ready to grovel..
What do I mean by craziness?
How about:
The Alcatraz plan, which will never happen.
Deporting victims to Libya (despite Libya saying no.
Blocking all new refugees, while offering asylum to dozens of white South Africans with promises of permanent residence, subsidies, free housing, and even smartphones.
Decreeing a ban on all foreign films (which also won’t happen). Would ICE start kicking down doors to seize stuffed Blueys as national security threats?
Maybe not so far-fetched: this morning, some ICE cowboys arrested the Mayor of Newark for “trespassing” at an ICE facility.
Then there’s the naming of screaming meemie Jeanine Pirro as D.C. Federal Prosecutor, replacing an overt white nationalist loon whom even the Quisling Senate Republicans wouldn’t confirm—just as they likely won’t confirm Pirro when her acting term ends in 120 days.
Trump’s mostly powerless executive orders are so far-fetched that in just his first 110 days, he’s already lost about 200 court challenges—many from conservative judges, including his own appointees.
Same with Greenland and Panama. More babble from the Crazy Old Man—meaningless and going nowhere.
Topper of the week: Trump, with a straight face, answered “I don’t know” when asked whether he’s under oath to defend the Constitution and due process. He may have been telling the truth—there were too many big words in the question.
Politically, Trump is weak. Very weak and failing. His poll numbers are ghastly—10 to 15 points underwater on every major issue. If there were a functional Congress or a non-zombie cabinet, Trump would already be out via impeachment or the 25th Amendment. But mafia bosses rarely go down peacefully.
Strap on your Wellingtons…let’s dig deeper into the Great Shrinking MAGA President.
THE GREAT MASS DEPORTATION FLOP
Someone in his gang had the foresight to turn some immigration arrests into high-profile stunts designed to scare people.
Masked ICE goons snatching students off the street.
Armed ICE agents arresting a sitting judge on dubious charges.
Raiding high-profile D.C. eateries for immigration records—yet making no arrests.
Marco Rubio bragging about personally canceling 300 student visas.
Declaring parts of three border states a national security zone—sidestepping posse comitatus thereby empowering Army soldiers to make arrests.
And ICE Barbie posing in front of Salvadoran inmates like Ginger Rogers dancing at Auschwitz.
Most absurdly, Trump’s order invoking the Alien and Sedition Act—a two-century-old wartime law—claiming that two Venezuelan gangs are really a military invasion by the Venezuelan government. Every court has laughed this out, and SCOTUS, though filled with his loyalists, can’t be entirely counted on to rubber-stamp his delusions.
Bottom line: ICE is acting like Nazis—but it’s just that: acting. The agents are serious about terrorizing, but they don’t realize they’re in a high school play.
Trump never had a real strategy. Fewer people have been deported under him than under Biden or Obama at the same point in office. No real mass deportation is happening, at least not yet—just a staged campaign of fear and deception.
THE ECONOMY, TARIFFS & TAXES
This is harder to unpack because Trump clearly doesn’t understand either the global or domestic economy. His “Great Big Beautiful” tariff plan has been a spectacular failure. His belief that imports are theft is a fourth-grade notion.
Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick—Trump’s clownish, sycophantic billionaire jester—promised 90 trade deals in 90 days. (Remember he’s the guy who said his 94 yr old mother-in-law would never call Social Security if she missed a check, only “fraudsters” would.
Of those predicated trade deals, there have been none.
Sure, a “deal in concept” with the UK was reached—but they import more from us than vice versa. The only likely winner accodring to most economists, will be Rolls Royce, which sells about 1,700 cars a year in the U.S., mostly to Trump’s pals.
Meanwhile, shelves are emptying and prices are rising thanks to an embargo on Chinese goods. Even Trump is now backpedaling, talking about reducing tariffs from 142% to a still-absurd 50%.
This will be a code-red economic disaster unless he fully backs down immediately. Even then, the global uncertainty he’s caused will keep wreaking havoc.
To date, the main result of his tariff mania has been to drive former trade allies into China’s arms. President Xi, a far more competent authoritarian, is not backing down.
U.S. economic growth was negative last quarter. We’re three months from a formal recession—all thanks to Trump. And predictions are that it is going to be a domestic trash bin fire.
Meanwhile, Elon Musk has flamed out. His “DOGE act” failed as Tesla is sinking. Musk promised $2 trillion in cuts—so far, it’s more like $150 billion (peanuts), and even that might be offset by the damage he’s caused. Thousands of lives upended and a roll back in crucial public services that affect millions.
Republicans in Congress are panicking. They see a possible 40–50 seat loss on the horizon. MAGA Senators are anxious. Trump can’t get his screwball nominees confirmed.
Even some MAGA loyalist screwballs are capable of doing political math. Cutting $8 trillion over a decade from Medicare to fund tax breaks for oligarchs? Not a good look. The GOP is split. Imam Johnson’s big tax cut bill, originally promised by May 25, is most likey dead or postponed—for now.
Trump is now muttering about raising taxes on the wealthy. Don’t bank on it. As of now, his Big Agenda and Massive Tax Cut Bill is up shit’s creek, with no paddle in sight.
This is dense stuff—especially in a country where 20% of adults read at a third-grade level or less (true fact). Another reason Trump’s regime functions like a reality show, full of shiny objects to distract from hard truths. He’s becoming a prophet of austerity, not prosperity. And voters hate austerity.
He’s gone from magician of instant prosperity to prophet of doom. When he shows up in a Jimmy Carter sweater, we’ll know we’ve hit rock bottom.
THE OPPOSITION (SO TO SPEAK)
In poker, when your bluff fails, someone always says: “You can’t beat nothin’ with nothin’.” That’s also true in politics.
Don’t mistake my catalog of Trump’s failures as a prediction that he’ll “lose”—whatever that means anymore.
The deranged Capo is still dangerous, especially as he flails. I don’t see him going quietly into the night. And if MAGA loses him, they have J.D. Vance—the slimiest of the reptiles—waiting in the wings.
Meanwhile, MAGA is quietly flirting with the military. Hegseth has purged eight four-star generals. Trump is planning a $100 million, 6,000-troop military march on his birthday. Mostly a vanity move, but not entirely meaningless.
Don’t rule out Trump inventing a domestic Reichstag fire to invoke the Insurrection Act sometime before the midterms.
There is growing resistance—AOC and Bernie have drawn huge crowds. I admire them. But they’re not building lasting institutions. Or if they are they are not quite visible. Mobilization is not the same as organization.
Street demonstrations alone won’t topple this regime. MAGA is in power until at least January 20, 2029—unless you believe in fairy tales of impeachment, the 25th Amendment, or a Trump resignation (LOL).
Iranians have protested for years and the dictatorship is still in place.. Hong Kong protests were crushed by Xi. Israel continues its atrocities regardless of college encampments or student takeovers of school libraries.
What to do about Trump?
Trump has committed too many outrages to count, so I can’t recall whicj recent one it was, but Hakeem Jeffries and some other Democrats responded with “stiff letters.”
It took David Brooks, the conservative columnist st the NYTime to state the obvious when he said ousting Trump would require a “national uprising.” He didn’t define it. I don’t know what it looks like either. But we need one.
This doesn’t mean armed revolution or a general strike. That sort of massive revolt is built over months or years of relentless organizing. It’s not conjured up by wishcasting, We’re not there yet.
But we must start using our imagination—and our courage. Trump, whether an authoritarian, fascist, mob boss, or demented old bastard (or all of the above), must be stopped.
By all means, keep building the demonstrations. But let’s also talk about how to escalate the fight. Don’t put all your eggs in the tenuous 2026 midterm basket. +++
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The sooner folks recognize the crime boss model, the better. At best, democracies thrive on transparency, horizontal equality and rule of law. In contrast, mob rule is the mirror opposite: secrecy, top down rule, and violence. The Trusk Misadministration is clearly the latter.
Yes, Marc, my taxonomy of right, center and left https://tinyurl.com/TaxonomyOfRightCenterAndLeft and or see Other Works on my subtack has concluded that Trump is in the Patrimonial row, not Authoritarian (like Stephen Miller) or "Libertarian" like Vance.
The sweet spot for building what my substack (see My Beats section) calls The Opposition is liberal, progressive and democratic socialist pragmatism, with help from well-behaved people on the far left (who are in in my utopian row). Many of our politican problems are theoretical. The problem with declaring Trump as fascist is that it drives people to the wrong conclusions for how to generate the kind of uprising which you rightly point out can't merely be wait and see midterm elections.
A popular front in defense of democracy, a left/center grassroots coalition, is rising before our very eyes. But unfortunately many on the far left see their role as building a "united front" along traditional lines, with the fantasy it can lead the opposition. But that is an illusion which will lead to narrowing of the opposition alliance.