Coop Scoop -- Breaking News: Authentic Clown Enters Speaker's Race

Bozo says he is ready to serve

October 17, 2023

By Marc Cooper

Now that the severely mentally restricted, extremist and top insurrectionist Jim “Gym” Jordan has predictably lost the vote for House speaker he seems determined to face a second losing vote onWednesday.

A growing number of more mainstream Republicans are feeling more than uneasy about the chaos that now defines the headless GOP conference in the House.

There’s also turmoil at the grass roots. Wilber G. Frosty, an eastern Washington Republican activist who works as a Bozo the Clown at kids’ parties says he’s had enough and is ready to serve.

“The current clowns on the Hill are giving the rest of us a bad name,” Bozo told The Coop Scoop in an exclusive interview with The CoopScoop. “Clowns are supposed to be able to walk into a room and make people smile, not make little children and rational adults cry.”

“If elected I plan to disable the flamethrowers now being deployed by the Fake Clowns and I will be bringing in some helium tanks onto the floor to inflate balloons. And. now, that will not increase overall inflation.” He said if elected he would appoint Kevin McCarthy as the guy to head up the helium station and would assign Jordan the job of tending to elephant waster that often litters the House floor.

When contacted by The Coop Scoop for comment, the RNC had no official response. One unidentified person who answered the phone said her bosses, those authorized to speak, were too busy today trying out new make up and wigs.