Coop Scoop: A Cornucopia of Crap

Trump, Texas, The House, Gaza, Musk, Stefanik and The Hunter Biden Show

December 13, 2023

By Marc Cooper

As one wag put it the other day, politically. It’s now everything everywhere all the time in terms of pure craziness.

Have a drop of sympathy for us newsletter writers like me, it’s like trying to ride a boogie board in the midst of a roaring hurricane.

As I am theoretically on vacation in heart of DeSantistan, I would very much just like to just go bury my head in the sand 200 feet out my door and forget about it all for a week or so, but I am not made that way.  I am neurotic enough to say something about at least one or two of the dazzling spectacles of dysfunction we are all witnessing.

Not going to focus today on the continuing decline of the GOP, which has morphed into a flock of dangerous clowns who now prefer to engage full-time in scurrilous and dangerous stunts rather than in governing. 

Not going to focus on how the House goes on vacation tomorrow abandoning any aid for Ukraine just as the Russians advance toward some sort of “victory.”  Ditto on blocking any aid for Israel and for all the wrong reasons.

Not going to focus on the House not dealing with funding the US govt before it takes off.  So what if the government shuts down for a couple of weeks or months.

Not going to focus on the stunt underway to “formally” open the inquiry into Joe Biden’s impeachment even though the House Republicans led by Mullah Mike Johnson lack the votes to pass any articles of impeachment, let alone a single stated supposed crime by the president (a minor detail apparently) which would justify such a thing.

Not going to focus on the putrid Rep. Elise Stefanik and her persecution of muddle-tongued university presidents accusing them of anti-Semitism while she has no problem getting in bed with raging anti-Semite Carl Palladino (go look it up). Her congressional show the other day, was nothing but one more transparent Republican distraction from the their real Orange Leader now facing 91 felony counts including collusion to overthrow the US government.

Not going to focus on the rotten state of Texas where the all-male reactionary state Supreme Court now acts as the only authorized gynecologist barring emergency abortions to save the lives of endangered women.

Not going to focus on the growing humanitarian catastrophe in Gaza which Netanyahu is bombing into the stone age apparently with no plan other than to kill as many people as possible in order to keep his stinky ass in power.

Not going to comment on the shocking details made public this week by The New York Times on how this same thug along with US complicity, kept funding Hamas with literally millions of dollars per month right up to October 7 with suitcases full of cash carried and protected by Mossad agents to keep the Palestinians divided and to avoid any negotiations over a two-state solution.

Not going to focus on the near 20,000 dead civilians (so far), the 185 UN workers  in Gaza who have been bombed out of existence along with some 70 mostly Arab journalists—whose lives simply do not even show up on the scoreboard.

Not going to focus on the demented Rudy Giuliani, now flat broke and loonier than ever, still lying about the election workers suing him for lying while on the front steps of the courthouse on the second day of his trial, motivating his counsel to contemplate hari kari.

Not going to focus on the relatively very good news that Special Counsel Jack Smith has trumped Trump by asking SCOTUS to leapfrog over the district courts and a hear a case ASAP knocking down Trump’s claim to have absolute immunity so that his January 6 trial can begin and conclude before the 2024 election. And the good news…so far.. that the Supremes are going to fast track the process.

Not going to focus on the other possible good news that the aberrant behavior of the Republicans from coast to coast, along with their gerrymandered map in New York being thrown out, combining to probably spell the GOP loss of the House a year from now.

Not going to focus on the soon-to-be bankrupt Elon Musk whose online show now starred such scum buddies as Alex Jones, Andrew Tate and the self-watering fool Vivek IamSmarmy. Nor on today’s recall of 2 million Teslas for being too dangerous to drive. Not going to ask why former Musk toady Matt Taibbi has now gone silent on his once so-adored Twitter idol.

Instead, I am going to (briefly) focus on probably the least consequential of the claptrap in front of us that is also among the most superficially understood or reported by the media.

Hunter Biden!

Well, it’s not THAT inconsequential. He is the son of the US President and his predicament could cost the Old Man the election if the Republicans continue with their dangerous theater around him.

And be advised, I have not come to praise Hunter Biden but rather to bury his persecutors.

First…a few of those fading things knows as FACTS. 

Hunter Biden is facing several criminal counts because the plea agreement that included no jail time was cocked-up by the US Attorney in Washington D.C., a Trump-appointed prosecutor, another clown, kept in place by Jellyfish-In-Chief, Merrick Garland.

Biden is faced with lying on a background check when he purchased a hand gun that he never used and kept for exactly 11 days. He lied about never having used drugs.  Which means that tens of millions of gun owners have done the same thing when filling out their own gun purchase forms, conveniently forgetting how many times they have fired up a bowl or hit the pipe.

Gun background checks eventually pass through the FBI.  If you lie to an FBI agent, you face a serious felony.  Ask Mike Flynn who pleaded his case and…. got no jail time.

Guess how many people failed their gun background checks since 1998?  Oh, just 1.7 million people. I have taken that check maybe ten times in my life and I know what’s on the form you are filling out.  You are swearing to the Feds you are telling the truth (even about smoking weed which is a no-no).

Now guess how many of those 1.7 million people who did what Hunter Biden did, not admitting to any drug use ever, got in legal trouble because of their lying.

Drumroll: TWENTY-FIVE over the last 25 years were charged by the FBI. 25 out of 1.7 million because in this great land of ours it’s no biggie to get a gun illegally while the Deep State snoozes or shrugs it shoulders.

Oh, one other fact: of the 25 charged, only 12 gun background check liars were ever prosecuted from 1998 till today.

So roughly rounding up the number over the last 25 years, the prosecution of Hunter Biden for not admitting drug use on his gun purchase forms, is a one out of a hundred fifty thousand occurrence. Did somebody out there just utter “selective prosecution?”

The other charges pending against Hunter Biden are about taxes.  The IRS claims that between 2016-2019, while he was severely drug-addicted, Biden did not pay $1.4 million in taxes. Until he did repay them and rather promptly.

 You can most certainly and eventually go to jail for back taxes and the easiest way to avoid the clink is to simply pay back what you owe plus interest and you’re done.  That’s what Hunter Biden did, but the Trumpy US Attorney still wants to lock him up.

I am not nearly in the same financial category as Hunter Biden but unfortunately I do have a rich history with the IRS.  When I returned to the US in 1979 and had only a small income, I proceeded to even file tax returns for the next years, let alone pay anything.  When the IRS finally called me in, there was no trauma. 

For some of those years they owed me money! And for a couple of others I had to pay a couple of hundred in filing fines. 

Subsequent to that, as my income suddenly edged into six figures in the 1990’s with a WHOLE LOT of deductions being a self-employed writer, I got audited four or five more times (last time was a three-year audit in 2001). 

These audits are not pleasant, but they are hardly run by Torquemada. In the end, unless you are a career criminal and bad taxes are the only way for the government to get you a-la-Capone, the IRS is usually more than  satisfied if they can squeeze anything they can out of you and then be done with you.  They’d rather have you out their working and paying taxes than locked up and unemployed.

 In my case, the IRS could never get an extra penny from me and in that last audit they had to refund me $800. LOL. And that last auditor in 2001 apologized for taking up so much of my time (less than two days).

I am no way saying that I am in the same category as Hunter Biden.  I am saying that through my own experience, and in conversation with various IRS agents,  accountants and CPA’s, it is very very hard to get prosecuted for back  taxes if you have paid them back– especially as quickly as Hunter Biden did.

We are not privy to the fine details of Hunter Biden’s case but from all appearances it is a crude, partisan show trial staged by a totally corrupt Republican Party – one whose leader is currently on trial in the civil courts as a serial corporate tax cheater for hundreds of millions of dollars (that he does not admit to nor has paid back). And that is in the civil courts, not the criminal ones.

What can you say, then,  about a world-class schmuck and ignoramus like  GOP Rep. Comer who had the temerity to say to a laughing and bewildered Jake Tapper of CNN that the  (pro-Trump) US Atty indicted Democrat Biden as a favor, a “cover-up” to shield him from more serious and totally unsubstantiated charges??

Roll over Lewis Carrol!

And wake up America if you please.  We are less than one year away from the possible election of Donald Trump and the onset of not only authoritarian rule, but authoritarian rule managed by clowns, weak-minded gargoyles, and lying sons of bitches. 

Do not count on the courts or some deux ex machina to save us.  Just mobilize and vote. And vote for the Democrat no matter how much you don’t like him because the alternative is to be governed by feeble minded fascists. It’s a pretty simple choice.++

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